In Part 2 of my four-part blog series, Leveraging Your Financial Capital (ideas, money, and relationships) into Freedom, I will share tools and practices that have helped me achieve success and fulfill my life purpose. I you haven’t read Part 1 about My Journey from Divorce to Divorce Attorney, do that now.
After my divorce I decided to go to law school at the ripe age of 42. And upon graduation I set my eyes upon New York City, with the goal of starting my own matrimonial law firm. Yes, it would have been easier to stay in North Carolina and work for someone else. But, I saw a future where my success wasn’t contingent upon others. I saw a future where my success was in my hands and that I could achieve anything I could envision.
Now believe me, that’s not to say it wasn’t tough. In those days I was a mother of three teenage sons, juggling parental responsibilities with my own life goals and aspirations. To say it was tough is really an understatement. But, in hindsight, now living on the other side of all those tears and break of dawn prayers and mediations and pursuing my own success, this was one of the best decisions of my life.
I like to tell people there are three things you must have in your life to pull yourself forward. To make it through those tough situations. To make it past the tears, the dawn breaks, the people that tell you “no”, and the fear of failure, you must be willing to “wait for it.” I was not an instant success. It took time. And I certainly couldn’t have done it without, what I believe are, the three core tenets of my success.
1. Faith and a Belief System
To be successful you have to lock into something bigger than yourself. You may call it something different, but I call it faith. It’s a belief system that gets your mind off of fear and onto possibilities. I love Emily Dickinson’s poem, “Dwell in Possibilities”. We have to sit, live, breathe, and talk about the possibilities.
Trust me, the possibilities are numerous, like the stars.
2. Find Yourself “Hype Queens”
Through the years of building my business I’ve always surrounded myself with what I like to call Hype Queens. These are friends you keep close by and that you know you can rely on. When you’re feeling at your worst your Hype Queens are saying “you can do this Mia”, “I’ve seen you do this before”, “look at your kids, do it for them”. They’re your cheerleaders.
Sometimes in life we get separated from our support systems. We get isolated and that’s the most dangerous place we can be. You must have someone who can tell you to put one foot in front of the other, you have to get out of bed, and keep moving forward. You must have Hype Queens.
3. Establish Solid Work Ethic
I built my practice from literally nothing. I am the product of grit and determination and although I’ve been building my practice for more than 10 years, I’m not slowing down. Work ethic is all about “you” and your ability to move yourself and your business forward. No one else can do this for you.
Contrary to popular belief, work ethic isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It can be learned; although it comes easier to some than others.
To anyone who is trying to establish solid work ethic I encourage them to leverage something called pattern stacking. Here’s how it works. Pick something small and do it consistently until it becomes normal. Then build on it. For example, if you know new customers are critical to your business, make it a habit to spend 2 hours every Friday prospecting and then once that becomes normal, build from there.
Success is achievable. These are a few of the things that have become the core pillars of my success. Yours may different. But, identifying a belief system, finding Hype Queens, and practicing a solid work ethic will absolutely put you on the right trajectory to achieving your dreams.
Mia Poppe, Esq.